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Quotes and One Liners humorous one-liners, quotations, proverbs, expressions & more. ... I think it’s pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of ... If practice makes perfect, but no one is perfect then why practice? Jumping on someone when they confuse there/their/they're is really just an ad homonym attack. The past, present and future walked into a bar. Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when a loud cried out: "Jesus is watching you." Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead in his tracks.

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Define one-liner. one-liner synonyms, one-liner pronunciation, one-liner translation, English dictionary definition of one-liner. ... English dictionary definition of ... One thing, you must consider while choosing the jokes is the type people who will be listening to it. Make sure that the Christmas jokes and one –liners do not offend any body, whether it is in terms of their race, religion, language or any others. However, the process of creating these flawless jokes and one-liners is not necessarily simple. The setup, punchline, wording, tag, timing and language utilized is essential to the overall success of the joke. When writing jokes, use real life experiences to relate to your target audience. Christmas is the season to be merry. Enjoy some moments of fun with your family and share these 100 Best Christmas Jokes, Santa Jokes, And funny one-liners thus making your festival special.

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Change language and content ... Brooker’s most cutting jokes and insults 25 of Lee Mack’s wittiest jokes and one-liners 75 of Billy Connolly’s best jokes, one-liners and quips 30 of the ... Absolutely hilarious one liners! The largest collection of the best one line jokes in the world. All rated by visitors and sorted from the best. See TOP 10 witty one-liners. A Collection of short, funny Italy-related jokes! << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? Down a can of Coke in one drink and then burp loudly. Insist that it was Bobby who shot J.R. Wire up people’s cars so the horn comes on as soon as their car is started. Every now and then I throw in one of those typos to see who's paying attention :-) Give me the grace to see a joke, to get some humor out of life and smiling it on to other folk. Have a great Day and Laugh, "Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many". Jun 20, 2017 · A little guy is sitting in a bar staring at his drink for over an hour. A big ugly biker walks up to the bar, takes the little guys drink and gulps it down. Then looks at the little guy as if to say now what you going to do about it. The little guy starts to cry. short jokes one-liners question and answer jokes jokes about lawyers, lawyer jokes . DEER TRACKS Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a pair of tracks. If you are looking for St Patrick's day Jokes or, Irish Jokes on St Patrick's day, then you are at correct place.Here, in this post, you can easily find out the Saint Patrick's day Jokes with Limericks, Riddles, One-Liners and Short Irish stories. This maxim deserves the top spot on any philosophical one-liner list because it so neatly sums up a system of ethics by which many people live their lives. The statement is a challenge as well as an instruction – we must try to empathize with others to understand how we ourselves would wish to be treated if in the other person’s place.

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Funny One-liners - by Type Bit of Fun has accumulated a lot of witty onliners over the years. Since we have a huge number of humorous one-liners we have tried to organize them somewhat. One Liner Jokes  ... The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language. read more » ... Office One Liners.

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Funny One-liners - by Type Bit of Fun has accumulated a lot of witty onliners over the years. Since we have a huge number of humorous one-liners we have tried to organize them somewhat.

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Apr 23, 2016 · Warning: Post contains swear words and adult themes. All comedy is subjective, so that headline is bollocks. Let's rephrase it. We've had a quick scout around the internet for the best one-liners we could find and these were the ones that made us chortle. Best man speech jokes and one liners. It always settles the nerves when you get a laugh so here’s a few best man speech jokes and one liners to give you a bit of inspiration. You will obviously have your own style and sense of humour so you may wish to adapt or not use at all!

Jun 20, 2017 · A little guy is sitting in a bar staring at his drink for over an hour. A big ugly biker walks up to the bar, takes the little guys drink and gulps it down. Then looks at the little guy as if to say now what you going to do about it. The little guy starts to cry.

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Absolutely hilarious one liners! The largest collection of the best one line jokes in the world. All rated by visitors and sorted from the best. See TOP 10 witty one-liners. Page 2. Ole and Lena Preface; Ole and Lena Jokes with Quips and One-Liners; From the Norwegian-American Culture. Ole and Lena Preface. There are about 110 jokes and quips below. Ole and Lena jokes include: Ole and Lena, husband and wife. Ole Jr, their little son. Sven may be a Swede, and is Ole's friend. Irish Jokes Knock Knock Lawyers Lightbulb Jokes Lyrics Male Bashing Marriage Medical Jokes Microsoft Military Jokes Miscellaneous Miscellaneous Ethnic Jokes Morals Music Naughty Johnny Jokes Old Age One Liners Paedophile Jokes Parents Police Polish Great Fishing Spot How Long Is The Pole? Polak In The Corn Field Polish Bar Polish Indian Polish ...

However, the process of creating these flawless jokes and one-liners is not necessarily simple. The setup, punchline, wording, tag, timing and language utilized is essential to the overall success of the joke. When writing jokes, use real life experiences to relate to your target audience. A company in the Foreign Legion had spent three years in the Sahara desert never having seen a woman. They finally decide to send one private on vacation to the nearest town to spend some time with a woman and tell themall about it. Mar 21, 2013 · Once upon a time there was a mute, he could communicate only with sign language, he searched for a cure to his condition his whole life, until one day he met a guy and was told that he was a mute like him and got cured. The mute asked him with passion: “What did you do?” The ex-mute replied: “I went to an African tribe and they cured me.” Oct 24, 2010 · british top 50 jokes of all time The Funniest Gag at the 2011 Edinburgh Festival Fringe was this one-liner from Tim Vine; Tommy Cooper (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Mar 26, 2015 · What are some of the best one liners you have ever heard? Try these on for size: a collection of our favorite gags from some of the world's greatest comedians. May 25, 2011 · When writing One-Liners there are 2 basic ground rules. The first is the length of the joke - the shorter the distance between the setup and the punch line, the funnier it is. The second is that the punch line will always be at the end.

Joke : Statistical one-liners. A new government 10 year survey cost $3, 000, 000, 000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population. According to recent surveys, 51% of the people are in the majority. One was pulling the cow by the tail; the other was pulling on the horns. Underneath was a lawyer milking the cow. If you laid all of the lawyers in the world, end to end, on the equator -- It would be a good idea to just leave them there.